I came across this essay in one of my many support groups and it resonated so strongly with me that I had to share it because it expresses my reality so well.   I do get stopped by his memory through every blade of grass, every crack in the sidewalk, every bowl of breakfast cereal, every kid on a scooter.  (Although, for anyone who knew Pierson, cereal was a pipe dream for breakfast!)  But as the author states, the memories and the loss is a difficult place for us to enter and the COVID-19 quarantine didn’t give me a choice.   I have had to enter that place.  I have…

It’s what I’ve been living since you left. Everything is different and yet nothing has changed except that I’ve been completely isolated from my previous life. The life I lived while you were in it. How is that possible? How do I make it through each day without you here? Quarantine. Separation. Isolation. Set apart as to be alone. Your death set me apart from everyone. In an instant my whole world changed and the future that once was us is no longer there. I can’t navigate this new life because I don’t have a map of any kind. I have no idea what the future holds because all I…

From the perspective of a parent who has lost their child to suicide, I do not get to “choose” how I view this world.  The choice was taken away from me by my child’s illness and death.  I am not the person I was before and to assume that I can just resume that role and be the person I was before is ignorant. I do see the world differently because I have experienced the world differently than the person who hasn’t had to deal with what I have lived.  And to be honest, my experience and viewpoint is valuable because without it, without my speaking up about it, how could we expect…